The Install That Never Ends

My computer has been trying to stall the same two Microsoft Netframework updates for about a month now. It's been more of a nuisance than a real problem. It slows down shutdown and takes up memory space.  I finally decided to do something about it, though.

Apparently Microsoft built Net Framework one version on top of the other. You can install a later version the first time you install it on your XP operating system. The problem is, the later versions don't include some elements from the first versions that they need to install updates later. If you didn't install 1.0, then 2.0, then 2.5 Sp1, then 3.0, the 3.5 Sp1, then 4.0 ad infinitum you can't get past the Net Framework 3.5 Sp1 update with the XP updates. Depending on which version you skipped, you could wind up reinstalling up to seven updates that I know of. 

I took out the whole Net Framework manually (a serious pain in the buttocks) and then reinstalled starting with version 2.0.  I managed only to reduce the number of rotating updates from seven to two.

XP claims it's installing the update. It shows the little bar graph thing and even tells you when it's "all finished".

BUT MICROSOFT XP LIES!

As soon as you reboot the computer, there they are. Lying in wait. Begging prettily to be installed.

Like the intensely irritating Lois and Bram kid's tune, "The Song that Never Ends", it just goes on and on my friend.  I discovered that the only thing you can do is remove the enitre Net Framework and reinstall each piece from 1.0 on.

I found two bits of software that help.


The first:, Aaron Stebner's handy Net Framework Cleanup Tool removes all Net Framework versions from your computer. Make sure you get the file from Stebner's site or Softpedia so you get the right one and don't download something nasty.

The second tool is aSoft's .Net Version Detector.  The file unfortunately will be saved on your computer with with the same name as a notorious malware program.  Be sure and get your copy from the aSoft link to make sure it's the good one.

.Net Detector checks to see which version of Net Framework you have and gives you a button beside the list of versions in the version detector window. The buttons take you right to where you need to go to download that version. Simply run the tool and start at the top downloading the files and installing each successive version.

You should stop having trouble with the update after that.

Good luck.  When you get done, give yourself a nice reward for a job well done.  You deserve it. I bought myself a sleek new mouse.

Tom

Homemade Ketchup

(c) 2012 by Tom King

If you ever wanted to try making your own homemade ketchup (or catsup if you'd druther) without all those alphabetical ingredients in it, here's a recipe that lets you lose the vinegar and the polysorbate idunnowhatnheckizzinhere. 

Best of all there's no cooking involved unless you want to make a really big batch and put it up in Mason Jars for the winter. You can make this with fresh garden tomatoes by peeling, seeding and whizzing up your tomatoes into a sauce and using the fresh sauce seasoned or unseasoned. The ketchup is pretty well seasoned already.

Pour into a mixing bowl the following:

• 2 cups tomato sauce
• 2 ½ tsp salt
• 2 ¼ tsp onion powder
• ¼ tsp cumin
• ¼ tsp oregano
• ½ tsp paprika
• ¼ tsp garlic powder
• ½  tsp soy sauce (to make it healthier use 1 tsp Braggs Liquid Aminos)
• 3 tbsp pineapple juice
• 4 tbsp lemon juice
• 8 tbsp honey

Mix it all up, pour it into jars and store in the refrigerator. You can use the water bath canning process to seal the catchup in Mason Jars if you're making a large batch and want it to last a while. Just make sure to follow directions.  The jars full of ketchup should be boiled without lids for 5 minutes at seal level to 3000 feet, 10 minutes from 3000 to 6000, 15 minutes from 6000 to 8000 and 20 minutes at 800 to 10,000 feet.  Any higher than that and you probably shouldn't be boiling stuff and using up the oxygen.

Championship Game Snacks - The Secret to Homemade Corn Dogs

(c) 2012 by Tom King

There are all sorts of recipes out there for corn dogs, but most are for a family-sized event and most require far more ingredients than you really want to fool with. Here's the dead easiest way to make enough corn dogs for a Superbowl, World Series or Final Four. A word of warning. You want to position the Fry Daddy where you can see the TV. The guys will keep you busy. I personally can eat 10 or 20 all by myself.


Here's what you need:

1. Box of corn dog skewers – keep an eye out for these in the grocery store. They can be hard to find. I special order mine online in boxes of 1000. In a pinch you can have the guys write their names on their skewers and reuse them (just don't let your wife see or she'll throw out the half gallon of oil left in the fryer after you're done).
2. All the wieners you can eat - this recipe makes even vege-weenies tast great!
3. 1 box of “complete” (add water only) pancake mix
4. 1 Box Corn Meal Muffin Mix
5. Mixing bowl
6. Wire Whisk
7. Large Fry Daddy
8. Gallon bottle of Canola Oil (healthier - you can tell your wife you made them with mono-unsaturated oil.)
9. Paper towels, lots of paper towels
10. Metal tongs (do not grab the wooden stick after they cook. It's liable to be surprisingly hot)
11. Bags of chips
12. Paper plates
13. Napkins
14. Ketchup, may, mustard (my group likes to dip 'em in queso)

Fill the Fry Daddy about 3/4 full - enough to cover the entire wiener.  Plug it in and let the oil heat up while you make the batter.

The Batter
In a big mixing bowl, dump a regular size box of pancake mix and 1 box of corn meal muffin mix. Pour in water and whisk it up till the batter is smooth and not too thick, not too thin.

Wiener Prep
Wiener preparation is the secret to delicious homemade hot dogs. You have to thoroughly dry off the wieners. I use paper towels myself. Wet wieners prevent the batter from adhering to the dog long enough to cook.

Cooking
Skewer the dried wieners on the corn dog sticks. Dip them into the batter bowl and make sure they are thoroughly coated with batter. Lift them from the batter one at a time, letting the excess batter run off.  Set each dog gently into the Fry Daddy. Put them in one at a time and allow the outside to cook enough so that the next dog you put in won't stick to the first one.  I hold them by the stick for about 10 to 15 seconds to allow the batter to skin over.  I like to put them in from right to left so I know that the one on the right is always the one ready to come out soonest.  Let them cook till they are golden brown.  Don't let them get too dark or they'll taste burnt.


Serving Corn Dogs
When the dogs are ready, I just put them out on a big serving plate next to a couple of open bags of chips and a stack of paper plates. I set out bowls to put the ketchup, mayo and mustard in rather than letting the guys dip straight out of the jars. That way, I don't have to throw away half a jar of mayo because my wife says, "I'm throwing that out. Every one of them had their hands in the jar and did you see any of them wash their hands once???" It just costs less to put it out in bowls. That way if someone dips his weenie in the mustard, you don't lose the whole jar.

I'm just sayin'

Tom King