Managing Energetic Kids - The Fox & the Hounds Game

Age and Intelligence beats youth and energy, but only if you actually use your aged intelligence. Kids are notoriously energetic. It is the purpose of every teacher and youth leader to wear down kids so they will take a nap and give you a badly needed break.

The great traditional game for wearing out children is "Tag".  There's only a problem with Tag as played with today's precious snowflakes. The problem is that the person who is "It" is the center of attention. And today's children want to be the center of attention no matter what.

So when we played tag with our school kids and my children in residential treatment, we used to have a problem getting the "It" person to chase and tag anyone. They wanted to stay "It" so they only pretended to chase people. Other kids wanted to be "It" so they would run up to whoever was "It" and try to make him tag them. Everybody got bored and stopped playing.

The solution was to invert the game so you have to run in order to be the center of attention. So we came up with this game called "The Fox and the Hounds".  Here's how you play.


THE FOX AND THE HOUNDS

Materials:

• Large playing field, or lightly wooded terrain.
• Faux fur tail - basically a piece of fake fur or soft cloth about three feet long

Players:

There are no teams. There is one person who is the fox and everyone else is a hound. Can be played by 3 or more people.  If you have 20 or so kids, you can have multiple foxes for completely chaotic (and wonderfully exhausting) play.

How to play:

1. Select your first fox. Explain that he or she remains the fox until someone grabs their tail. The fur tale is inserted in the back of the child's belt or pants (not too far unless you want to lose your pants when someone pulls your tail out.
2. Explain to the rest that they are hounds and their job is to chase the fox, while making barking or baying sounds just like hounds.
3. Give the fox a 15 second head start and turn him loose. Signal the hounds to begin the chase and watch the fun.
4. When the hounds run down the fox and someone grabs its tail, stop the game. 
5. Set up the new hound with a tail and turn him loose again, wait the 15 seconds and then release the hounds!
6. Everybody wants to be the fox so the chase gets pretty energetic. The game usually lasts about 20 or 30 minutes before everyone is exhausted. 

Strategy Tips:

• The structure of the game is a great equalizer. If the fastest kid in the group becomes the fox, the "hounds" learn pretty quickly to do what a wolf pack does. They chain run the fox. A couple of kids chase him till they get tired, then another couple of kids chase him and so forth until he gets exhausted and slows down to the point where someone can catch him. The chase patterns get so mixed up that even the slowest kids may snag the tail as the fox runs past.
• At any rate the game is fast-paced, exhausting and guaranteed to wear out the little darlings using their own desire to be the center of attention against them. The Fox has everyone chasing him so he's the center of attention so he runs very fast to retain the attention of the group. The hounds want to BE the center of attention so they run very fast to catch him. This adds up to one exhausting session.

This one works great if you'd like the kids to go home worn out and sleep soundly. You have to learn to judge how tired they are or they nod off in their mashed potatoes at supper.

© 2018 by Tom King

Dealing With Bullies and Their Parents

In the midst of economic collapse, Middle-Eastern uprisings and a budget struggle threatening to shut down the country, President Obama today gave us a speech about bullying.

It is ironic that the very atmosphere of political correctness fostered by the folk who put the President in office is responsible for the rampant rise of bullying in American schools.

Where I grew up, if you did something wrong, the neighbors hit the phones and your mama knew about it before you could get home.  If you got in trouble at school, you got in twice as much when you got home. If you committed a heinous act in front of an adult, that adult was very likely fully empowered by your Dad to bust your butt. Then, when Dad found out about it, he'd bust your butt and call his friend to thank him for popping you on his behalf.

We have passed through an era in which people have gradually become so afraid of being sued by parents or reported to child abuse authorities that grown adults are reduced to mere bystanders.  Hillary Clinton is fond of telling people it takes a village to raise a child. Unfortunately, the litigous nanny state we live in has handcuffed all the people in the village and turned loose the children unsupervised.

And children are notorious barbarians. Without supervision they adopt a "Lord of the Flies" tribal social structure in which bullies rule the roost. So how do you, as a concerned adult, do anything about the problem of child-thugs in your neighborhood, public parks, grocery stores or churches?

You follow the advice of the angels!

Whenever an angel appears, the first word it always says is, "Fear not!"

Providing guidance to children is a rough sport and not for the faint-hearted. You must show unflinching courage when facing a young hoodlum. They smell fear. Show none! When you observe a child bullying another, here's what to do:

1. Approach the scene of the crime quickly, with a firm stride and confidence in your demeanor.
2. Don't ask for permission. If the parent is nearby, don't make eye contact with them. Keep focused on the young miscreant.
3. Firmly tell the child, "That's enough." Expect him to stop and give him (or her) your best steely-eye and usually, the shock will stop the behavior long enough for you to move between the bully and the intended victim. Do not raise your voice. Speak calmly and evenly. A calm person has great power, grasshopper. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth if you need to calm down.
4. Describe the specific behavior you want stopped, even if it sounds vague as in, "Stop tormenting Tommy."  The more specific you are about what you saw, the better.
5. Don't argue with the bully.  He will deny the behavior. Don't be surprised when he does. Whatever you do, don't let him draw you into an argument. If you allow him to challenge your version of the facts, you give him power over you.
6. End the incident quickly. The best way is to explain to the bully that you WILL follow up by talking to his mother and father. They usually beat a hasty retreat at this point.

What you should do if the child's angry parent steps in?

I long ago quit asking parents if I could correct their kids. Usually, if I have to bark at one, the parents are more embarrassed than the kid. Also I'm large and have that teacher persona, so I seldom have a parent get in my face about it - not that it would do any good if they were to try. In the couple of incidences where a parent did take umbrage, I patiently explained to the parent, the full extent of the child's sin, explained exactly why I felt it necessary to intervene and assured them that I only intervened because I was not aware they were nearby and was certain they would never have condoned such behavior had they been fully aware of the problem.

Getting the parent involved in this fashion is one really great way to send home the misery to a child who is bullying his peers. The conversation at home typically begins with, "How could you embarrass me like that...."

If all the adults out there actually did subscriibe to the "It takes a village" philosophy, unruly kids wouldn't have anywhere to go to perpetrate their petty crimes. They would be confronted with corrective forces at every turn. Nothing trains a child better than living in an environment where every adult in the child's life subscribes to the 15 commandments.  You know the first ten. I've added five more as a kind of appendix for children.

     1. Thou shalt not sass thy Mama
     2. Thou shalt not run with scissors or other sharp objects.
     3. Thou shalt not go swimming for one hour after eating.
     4. Thou shalt not scratch thy private parts in public.
     5. And thou shalt not bully!

It's time adults in this country buck up and provide these young-uns some guidance. There's nothing to be afraid of. You cannot be sued for telling a child to behave himself. Just don't hit them or raise your voice and you'll be okay.

Tom